Hoo boy!
This time between the eclipses is really something else.
I got to work yesterday to find out my two colleagues had called in ill. My boss says, "You'll be okay. You have to be, cos there is no-one to take the load off."
I think the stress of what is going on in the Sleep lab is getting to everyone.
So...I was running three clinics on my own. Jeepers I felt myself freaking out. Gone was that lovely space...effing flew out the window with neither explanation nor a look back to say sorry!
I had to take a moment to calm and centre myself, creating the intention that all would run smoothly and I'd leave on time. In between seeing patients, I was taking phone calls and popping up to the wards to check on inpatients, as well as dictating all my letters and did it all in record time, leaving at 5.30 as I should.
I know it is possible having done this many times over, but still on another level I find myself shivering at the thought of ever having to do that again. I wasn't sure what the fear was about? If I cannot cope, I cannot cope. It's not as though I am writing an exam or as though the world will fall into chaos if I don't live up to my own expectations.
Haha - I just wrote that without thinking and Bam! an epiphany - me putting myself under pressure. Will my world fall apart?
My boss's words are telling too. Basically she is right. There is no-one else that can do this for me, but me.
I walked out of the hospital into a beautiful bright sunny day. When I got home we all climbed into the pool to cool down.
All seemed well, until I went to bed.
Cramp after cramp in my feet jolted me out of my sleep, the heat overwhelming me. I lay for a while wondering if the cramps would eventually go, but they didn't.
I got up to have a hot drink of pink Himalayan salt (knowledge gifted to me by a good friend) which always helps.
I sat in the cool dark of the lounge sipping my drink, enjoying the quiet peace of the night.
Hubby walked in, which surprised me cos I thought he was sleeping. He said he found it too hot in the room with the cat on top of him. Our black cat lately has been acting out of character, constantly under our feet and sleeping on top of us at night. Almost as though he cannot get close enough. I suppose these amped up energies are getting to him too. Our little female doesn't seem too bothered by it all.
One thing led to another in words and suddenly resentment popped up and I snapped. Yes well, he snapped back, didn't he?
We both normally love the heat, having grown up in hot countries. It's never bothered us or made us irritable. After years of living with the cold, we relish the heat.
But not last night. It was like detonating fireworks.
He spent the night on the couch :-(
I still feel the underlying tension today.
Usually we get a chance to enjoy a new plateau for a while.
But these days we are being zapped left right and centre with barely a chance to breath.
And so the shedding of those blocks holding us back from being our true Authentic Self continues at a rapid rate.
We just gotta get on with it.
This time between the eclipses is really something else.
I got to work yesterday to find out my two colleagues had called in ill. My boss says, "You'll be okay. You have to be, cos there is no-one to take the load off."
I think the stress of what is going on in the Sleep lab is getting to everyone.
So...I was running three clinics on my own. Jeepers I felt myself freaking out. Gone was that lovely space...effing flew out the window with neither explanation nor a look back to say sorry!
I had to take a moment to calm and centre myself, creating the intention that all would run smoothly and I'd leave on time. In between seeing patients, I was taking phone calls and popping up to the wards to check on inpatients, as well as dictating all my letters and did it all in record time, leaving at 5.30 as I should.
I know it is possible having done this many times over, but still on another level I find myself shivering at the thought of ever having to do that again. I wasn't sure what the fear was about? If I cannot cope, I cannot cope. It's not as though I am writing an exam or as though the world will fall into chaos if I don't live up to my own expectations.
Haha - I just wrote that without thinking and Bam! an epiphany - me putting myself under pressure. Will my world fall apart?
My boss's words are telling too. Basically she is right. There is no-one else that can do this for me, but me.
I walked out of the hospital into a beautiful bright sunny day. When I got home we all climbed into the pool to cool down.
All seemed well, until I went to bed.
Cramp after cramp in my feet jolted me out of my sleep, the heat overwhelming me. I lay for a while wondering if the cramps would eventually go, but they didn't.
I got up to have a hot drink of pink Himalayan salt (knowledge gifted to me by a good friend) which always helps.
I sat in the cool dark of the lounge sipping my drink, enjoying the quiet peace of the night.
Hubby walked in, which surprised me cos I thought he was sleeping. He said he found it too hot in the room with the cat on top of him. Our black cat lately has been acting out of character, constantly under our feet and sleeping on top of us at night. Almost as though he cannot get close enough. I suppose these amped up energies are getting to him too. Our little female doesn't seem too bothered by it all.
One thing led to another in words and suddenly resentment popped up and I snapped. Yes well, he snapped back, didn't he?
We both normally love the heat, having grown up in hot countries. It's never bothered us or made us irritable. After years of living with the cold, we relish the heat.
But not last night. It was like detonating fireworks.
He spent the night on the couch :-(
I still feel the underlying tension today.
Usually we get a chance to enjoy a new plateau for a while.
But these days we are being zapped left right and centre with barely a chance to breath.
And so the shedding of those blocks holding us back from being our true Authentic Self continues at a rapid rate.
We just gotta get on with it.
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