Relationships in all shapes and forms are being thrown into the spotlight these days.
Reckon it's got something to do with the lunar eclipse and all that other stuff that is so prevalent in September, forcing us, whether we want it or not, to take note of our inner prejudices and negativities. You know, those thoughts and feelings that are floating around creating havoc in our lives that we are unaware of...or maybe are aware of and couldn't be bothered to do something about.
I have to say that my own "shortcomings" lately are very obvious. Nowhere to run or hide.
Geez, does it ever end?
I was thinking about how we all approach our journey so differently.
I used to hate the TV. I was adamant that I'd not watch it EVER - I never grew up with TV so didn't miss it. Greg sees it differently. He loves the television. He has it on even when he is not watching. Says he likes the noise. I cannot stand it. I like to have quiet around me at times.
I was adamant that both children would not go to mainstream schooling. It was all my own stuff. I hated school and had difficulty making friends always feeling like I didn't fit. I watched my mother in wonder as she entertained my father's many business associates, creating meals, circulating and making sure her guests felt welcome. I often asked her, when I was younger, how did she manage to feel so comfortable with strangers. She told me that she wasn't comfortable, it was all a front. She'd been a shy youngster herself but over the years had learned to become more extrovert through necessity. Sink or swim. She assured me I'd become more confident as I got older and she was right, I did.
But I digress...
Greg couldn't understand my feeling about mainstream schooling. He loved it. He was popular, very sporty and had a huge group of friends. He can talk to anyone. We fought and argued about the schooling. His concern was the expense and the "weirdness" of the school. But I was adamant, so he compromised by saying we'd try it and see how it went. A few months into Ashlee's schooling he said that he thought it was a good choice. I was so relieved.
I did eventually get off my high horse and started watching TV, but still prefer a day without noise, but I've compromised. We enjoy watching programmes together, especially the BBC nature programmes which are top notch. I was pleased to see that New Zealand TV shows a lot of BBC programmes.
At some stage during this 30 year marital journey, I came to the realisation that no matter how "vegan" I might be, or how "good" I was not watching television, or how much I meditated, being dogmatic can be more harmful than helpful. It made me inflexible and unable to move forward.
Our relationship has taught both of us how to compromise. It's swings and roundabouts. Sometimes one will give more than the other, and other times vice versa. Mostly it is about working together to find ways through the issue - which may not happen immediately while I'm in the mode of I want to throw knives at you and make you suffer, but we do get there eventually.
Reckon it's got something to do with the lunar eclipse and all that other stuff that is so prevalent in September, forcing us, whether we want it or not, to take note of our inner prejudices and negativities. You know, those thoughts and feelings that are floating around creating havoc in our lives that we are unaware of...or maybe are aware of and couldn't be bothered to do something about.
I have to say that my own "shortcomings" lately are very obvious. Nowhere to run or hide.
Geez, does it ever end?
I was thinking about how we all approach our journey so differently.
I used to hate the TV. I was adamant that I'd not watch it EVER - I never grew up with TV so didn't miss it. Greg sees it differently. He loves the television. He has it on even when he is not watching. Says he likes the noise. I cannot stand it. I like to have quiet around me at times.
I was adamant that both children would not go to mainstream schooling. It was all my own stuff. I hated school and had difficulty making friends always feeling like I didn't fit. I watched my mother in wonder as she entertained my father's many business associates, creating meals, circulating and making sure her guests felt welcome. I often asked her, when I was younger, how did she manage to feel so comfortable with strangers. She told me that she wasn't comfortable, it was all a front. She'd been a shy youngster herself but over the years had learned to become more extrovert through necessity. Sink or swim. She assured me I'd become more confident as I got older and she was right, I did.
But I digress...
Greg couldn't understand my feeling about mainstream schooling. He loved it. He was popular, very sporty and had a huge group of friends. He can talk to anyone. We fought and argued about the schooling. His concern was the expense and the "weirdness" of the school. But I was adamant, so he compromised by saying we'd try it and see how it went. A few months into Ashlee's schooling he said that he thought it was a good choice. I was so relieved.
I did eventually get off my high horse and started watching TV, but still prefer a day without noise, but I've compromised. We enjoy watching programmes together, especially the BBC nature programmes which are top notch. I was pleased to see that New Zealand TV shows a lot of BBC programmes.
At some stage during this 30 year marital journey, I came to the realisation that no matter how "vegan" I might be, or how "good" I was not watching television, or how much I meditated, being dogmatic can be more harmful than helpful. It made me inflexible and unable to move forward.
Our relationship has taught both of us how to compromise. It's swings and roundabouts. Sometimes one will give more than the other, and other times vice versa. Mostly it is about working together to find ways through the issue - which may not happen immediately while I'm in the mode of I want to throw knives at you and make you suffer, but we do get there eventually.
