I had a very bizarre experience the other night at work. I was trying to settle a patient on a respiratory machine but he was fighting it.
Finally at 1 o'clock in the morning, full of despair, I sat looking at the screen, wandering what I could/should be doing, when I suddenly noticed something very odd. On closer inspection there seemed to be, what I thought was a woman wearing a pale bodysuit of some kind, crouched next to the bed. The infrared light makes everyone on camera look rather anonymous, so I couldn't be sure.
'She' looked up at the camera, with - what looked like - an agonised expression on her face.
Puzzled, I asked my colleague if she could see something on the screen.
"What?" she asked and stared at the screen in silence before saying, "Are you talking about those dust particles floating around?"
Um...no I wasn't. Those we'd been seeing for ages and they weren't dust particles...but that's another story.
I gathered from her response she couldn't see what I was seeing.
Hmm...
So I asked the question - who are you and why are you in the room?
Long story short...
It turns out that his lungs had manifested as this being, who was in fact an androgynous being rather than a woman. It was crouched in that position showing me the state of his lungs. They were restricted. So incredibly restricted that there was no ways that the machine was going to help. His emotions were holding his lungs in a firm grip and until he released these emotions, his lungs would not be able to do their job.
I tried very hard energetically to help the being move as it was in pain from being in this position for so long. But despite my efforts, nothing could free it.
I finally came to the conclusion that this man would not want the machine, because at this stage he wasn't ready to let go of anything - he was comfortable with something familiar even if it was detrimental to his health.
In the morning he proved me right saying it this would change his lifestyle so radically he couldn't even contemplate it with anything other than horror. He was adamant - end of.
I know having a CPAP machine can be a great intrusion on our lives, but with our current understanding and technology, this is all that we have to offer. The best part of this type of therapy is that it is not drug related which is why I am able to do the job that I do without it compromising my stance. The world is not quite ready to accept that emotions cause problems in the body - when it does, I will be well equipped to deal with it. But until then I work with what I have to hand.
This isn't new to me and reminded me of the days when I used to work as a PA to a barrister. She'd ask me to get a 'feel' as to the outcome of her court cases. I don't think it helped her in any way, it was simply an amusing thing that really tickled her fancy...and gave me some practice in reading situations.
I have no idea why it is happening now. Maybe it is once again time for me to read situations, so that I know when something is a waste of time, effort and energy.
Haha...okay so that hit home. I do know mostly, but despite this, and being the stubborn so-and-so that I am, I go ahead and do it anyways, just in case!
Message understood but whether I'll action it is another story! :-)
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